1、不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比！ Don't be lazy with me, I'm lazy to compare with you!
2、乌龟能够赛过兔，其实只是各走各的路。 Tortoises can race rabbits, but they only walk their own ways.
3、人生像打电话，不是你先挂就是我先挂。 Life is like calling, either you hang up first or I hang up first.
4、什么时候想嫁人了就告诉我，我娶你！ When you want to marry, tell me, I marry you!
5、从来都不用化妆品，我保持年轻的秘诀就是，谎报年龄。 I never use cosmetics. The secret to keep young is to lie about my age.
6、以前觉得很简单事，现在都变得好复杂了。比如长头发。 It used to be very simple, and now it's all getting better and more complicated. Like long hair.
7、会演戏的不一定都是演员，会装的一定就是孙子。 It is not all actors who can act, but grandchildren who will pretend.
8、住在局部地区的人太可怜了，那里几乎天天下雨。 The people living in some areas are so poor that it rains almost every day.
9、你是最好的，如果真有人比你好，我就装作没看见。 You are the best. If someone is better than you, I pretend I haven't seen it.
10、你那么甜，不适合风吹日晒，适合躺在我怀里。 You are so sweet, not suitable for the wind and the sun, suitable for lying in my arms.
11、像你这样的女孩就不能嫁人，就算嫁了也是嫁祸于人。 A girl like you can't marry, even if she does.
12、全世界都在忙着谈恋爱，只有我在忙着写作业。 The world is busy in love, only I am busy writing homework.
13、出来混，老婆迟早是要换的！ Come out and mix, wife is to change sooner or later!
14、即使这样，我也觉得能遇上你真的太好了。 Even so, I think it's really great to meet you.
15、只因为在人群中多看了你几眼，从此便瞎了眼。 Just because I saw you a few more in the crowd, I was blind from now on.
16、各位看官，我就想弱弱的问一句：超能吃算不算超能力？ Dear officials, I would like to ask a weak question: is it not super ability to eat super ability?
17、多数人的生活状态：间歇性踌躇满志，持续性混吃等死。 Life status of most people: intermittent complacency, persistent mixed eating and death.
18、天冷了，你穿的再多，心里要是没有我，还是冻死你。 It's cold. You wear more. If you don't have me, you will freeze to death.
19、天冷了，如果你不能给我个拥抱，那就给我买个外套。 It's cold. If you can't give me a hug, buy me a coat.
20、女生晒照的自我修养：自拍三千只取一张。 Self cultivation of girls' sunshine: take only one of 3000 photos.
21、好不容易习惯了自己的长相，理了个发，又换了一种丑法。 I was used to my appearance, I had a hair, and I changed my ugly way.
22、好马不吃回头草，所以好马总挨饿。 Good horses don't eat the hay, so good horses are always hungry.
23、如果我死了，我的第一句话是：终于不用怕鬼了。 If I die, my first sentence is: at last, I don't have to be afraid of ghosts.
24、如果有钱也是一种错，那我情愿一错再错。 If money is a mistake, I'd rather be wrong again and again.
25、如果男人不帮你穿上婚纱，你就送他件袈裟。 If a man doesn't help you in a wedding dress, you'll send him a cassock.
26、小时候的我梦想有很多，可现在我只想发财。 I dreamed a lot when I was a child, but now I just want to get rich.
27、当初说好的不让我受一点委屈，果然不止一点点。 I was not wronged by what I said at the beginning, and it was indeed more than a little.
28、当初那个可爱的我早已不见，取而代之的是更可爱的我。 At the beginning, I was not the lovely one, and I was replaced by the more lovely one.
29、恋爱时，情话绵绵；结婚後，谎话连连。 When in love, love is continuous; after marriage, lies are continuous.
30、情侣年年有，今年特别多。 Lovers have each year, especially this year.
31、想谈恋爱了，大家快劝劝我。 If you want to fall in love, please advise me.
32、我承受了这个年纪不该有的饭量。 I have been fed up with the amount of food I shouldn't have at this age.
33、我的钱虽然不是大风刮来的，但是很像大风刮走的。 My money, though not from the wind, is very like the wind.
34、我胖了才显得你瘦，免得我瘦的时候显得你丑。 I am fat to look thin, so that I don't look ugly when I am thin.
35、我要做你的心脏，你要是惹毛了我，我就不跳了。 I want to be your heart. If you make me angry, I won't jump.
36、熬夜对身体不好，所以我建议你通宵。 Staying up late is not good for your health, so I suggest you stay up all night.
37、爱情就像打篮球，有进攻有防守，有时还会有假动作！ Love is like playing basketball, there is attack and defense, sometimes there will be fake action!
38、猛的一看你不怎么样，仔细一看还不如猛的一看。 A fierce look at you is not so, a careful look is not as fierce a look.
39、生活不止眼前的苟且，还有前任发来的请帖。 Life is not only meticulous, but also invitations from the predecessors.
40、真羡慕你，这么年轻就认识我了。 I envy you. I know you so young.
41、站在人生的米字路口，我更加彷徨。 Standing at the intersection of rice characters in life, I am more hesitant.
42、等我有钱了，我就带我最讨厌的人去最好的神经病院！ When I have money, I will take the most hated people to the best neurosurgery!
43、装什么城里人，现在地球都叫村。 What kind of city people are installed, the earth is called village now.
44、谈一次恋爱，少一个朋友。 A love, less friends.
45、跌倒了，爬起来再哭。 Fall, get up and cry.
46、遇见了你，我才知道恐龙其实是可以再次出现的。 I met you before I knew that dinosaurs could actually reappear.
47、那些拧不开瓶盖的女的都是装的，你让她拆个快递试试。 Those women who can't open the bottle caps are all packed. You can ask her to take a express delivery and try it.
48、青春就是疯狂的奔跑，然后华丽的跌倒。 Youth is crazy running, then gorgeous fall.
49、鱼和熊掌不可兼得，但是单身和穷却可以。 Fish and bear paws can not be shared, but single and poor can.
50、黑夜给了我一双黑色的眼睛，可我却用它来翻白眼。 The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used it to turn white eyes.